I am so tired I can barely keep my eyes open. I really didn't get much sleep last night and what I did get was not restful. At 12:30 Erik took Kiko out to do his business. Kiko saw a rabbit and took off like a shot after the rabbit. Erik woke me up to help him find the dog. After that I had a hard time falling asleep and then I woke up at 5:00 a.m.
Being this tired doesn't help my mental state. I'm feeling very depressed. Last night, after watching election results, I just wanted to pull the covers over my head and not have to face the world ever again. I want to avoid people and withdraw into the comfort of my little home.
I don't think I believe in God any more. I was always taught that to ask and it shall be given. I keep asking and keep waiting and nothing changes. I don't believe there is anyone there to answer prayers. If there is a God, why can't he stop all the hate and bigotry and racism and greed. Why is evil taking over? If God is all powerful, why is there so much pain and hate and suffering?
Wednesday, November 03, 2010
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
Jesus and Healing the Poor
Jesus and His disciples came to a town, and in the square of that town He preached and He called to the people to come and be healed.
And those with ailments and those covered with sores and boils and those afflicted with all manner of maladies sought His healing.
Jesus approached the first person, a man who lay on a litter, his pain and suffering writ on his face. As Jesus knelt to lay His hands on the man, Peter stepped forward.
“Wait Lord, ” he said. “Are you a participating provider for this man?”
Then Andrew said “Should we not determine whether he suffers from a pre-existing condition?”
Matthew added, “He may be so ill that it would strain Your resources to heal him. In that case, You should not try. Let him seek help elsewhere.”
Then James son of Zebedee and John chimed in. “Why do You not ask for payment?” asked James.
“Surely it is not fair to those who pay their healers if You heal these people without cost,” John pointed out.
“After all,” said Simon Zealot, “what if his condition was brought about by the way he lived? Should he not bear responsibility?”
“I question whether You should heal the children,” said James son of Alphaeus. “Their parents should be working to pay for their care.”
“Indeed,” said Thomas, “if You heal them every time they will never learn personal responsibility.”
“Then they will always rely on the support of others,” said Philip.
“Besides, aren’t there better people to help?” argued Bartholomew.
“They should pull themselves up by their bootstraps,” proclaimed Thaddeus.
Judas Iscariot stared from one disciple to the next. “Oh for crying out loud!” he said. “They don’t have BOOTS!” But they paid him no heed so he went to find an inn and wine.
And Jesus?
Jesus wept.
(Copyright D. Scanlon 2010)
And those with ailments and those covered with sores and boils and those afflicted with all manner of maladies sought His healing.
Jesus approached the first person, a man who lay on a litter, his pain and suffering writ on his face. As Jesus knelt to lay His hands on the man, Peter stepped forward.
“Wait Lord, ” he said. “Are you a participating provider for this man?”
Then Andrew said “Should we not determine whether he suffers from a pre-existing condition?”
Matthew added, “He may be so ill that it would strain Your resources to heal him. In that case, You should not try. Let him seek help elsewhere.”
Then James son of Zebedee and John chimed in. “Why do You not ask for payment?” asked James.
“Surely it is not fair to those who pay their healers if You heal these people without cost,” John pointed out.
“After all,” said Simon Zealot, “what if his condition was brought about by the way he lived? Should he not bear responsibility?”
“I question whether You should heal the children,” said James son of Alphaeus. “Their parents should be working to pay for their care.”
“Indeed,” said Thomas, “if You heal them every time they will never learn personal responsibility.”
“Then they will always rely on the support of others,” said Philip.
“Besides, aren’t there better people to help?” argued Bartholomew.
“They should pull themselves up by their bootstraps,” proclaimed Thaddeus.
Judas Iscariot stared from one disciple to the next. “Oh for crying out loud!” he said. “They don’t have BOOTS!” But they paid him no heed so he went to find an inn and wine.
And Jesus?
Jesus wept.
(Copyright D. Scanlon 2010)
Sunday, April 11, 2010
Tuesday, January 05, 2010
What does 2010 hold?
I've been told that if a person writes down his/her hopes and desires, there is a better chance those hopes and desires will be achieved. With that in mind, I've been thinking what I hope for 2010.
(1) My first hope is that I can get back on track with my weight loss and figure out why I feel the need to sabotage myself. What does the excess weight protect me from? I know what it prevents me from doing and the negative feelings it creates, but don't understand why I would rather deal with the pain and unhappiness than stay on track and achieve permanent weight loss. This will be an area of major work in 2010.
(2) I hope to be able to make a trip to Tunisia to reconnect with Chuck's family. I also hope that some (if not all) of my kids will mare the trip as well. Connecting with family members on Facebook has really brought home the fact that I want to go to Tunisia. Renew passports!!
(3) I want to find a job where I am truly happy and that pays decently. I'm so burned out in my current job. I adore my boss and all the freedoms I have, but I am finding it harder and harder to come to work every day for a variety of reasons. I keep thinking I would like to open my own cross stitch shop, but then I don't know if I want that kind of responsibility at this point in my life.
(4) I want to challenge myself to do a better job of staying in touch with my friends and family.
(5) I want to take time every day to write in my journal.
That's it so far. Now to motivate myself!
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